Same Old Answer

Have you ever known someone who has the same old answer to a question at different points in your life? Well, I know one who does. The problem is I like this one and for her, I’m just the one consults me when she has technical problems. No hi or hellos in any other day of the year. She could be likened to a common business impression that when you ask a Chinese businessman about his business, he will always say that it is losing.

Let me make myself clear first, the question I asked is not a romantic question whatsoever. I just asked her the same question today and she just replied the same old answer. This answer may be true sometime but not all the time. Or maybe, I just caught her with the same question at a wrong time so her answer is justified. I don’t think so. I have know her most of my life and the odds of me asking at the wrong time all the time is close to zero.

Today, I begin to wonder, is her answer just meant towards me. I don’t like to feel that I was “just accommodated” as something in someone else’s like especially from the people I consider as my friends and the people I like. Sooner or later, I will find the answer to my questions.

I have already expressed to her that I missed her before and she just treated it as a joke when she knows that I don’t play around and I have never lied to her. Maybe it is time to see if she will remember me somehow.

First Day Low

I started my new job today. I spent most of the morning just sitting around because the boss was busy and spent about an hour working in the afternoon because the boss was busy. He just handed me files for me to study and make something out of it.

It’s difficult to make what he asked for at the present because there are only two computers available, one laptop and one desktop, and both are used by all the employees in the office interchangeably. I guess I’m not good at preparing my reports on paper because I constantly revise what I do or change immediately what I think is wrong in my reports so making it in the computer is more viable for me.

On my first day, I was greeted by the people who used to know me while others wonder what I was doing there. The location and people have changed slightly but it is more or less the same atmosphere I left almost three years ago. The people’s attitudes haven’t changed a bit, only their uniforms. They made me remember an old saying, “The more they try to change, the more they stay the same.

Working Again

I will start working tomorrow. I don't know what my job will be or who I'll be working for. However, I don't feel anything about working back there again. I'm not anxious or excited. Just want to go there tomorrow and start doing what i will be assigned to.

I really don't know what will happen tomorrow. Maybe stir up a little gossip somewhere on why I did come back after leaving it almost three years ago. I know I was over-hyped by some individuals there, even now. They think I am very good at something, and that something is what I am skeptical about. It's hard to live up to something that is expected of you.

I liked working in other places because I can start fresh, nothing much is expected of me. They will judge me only by what I am doing and nothing else. But here, I have to live up to the the excellence of my parents. Be at par or greater than their abilities. This excellence was already expected of me even before I graduated It's nice to be known for something good, however, it is difficult for me because I was already expected to be good at something without proving myself yet. Maybe, this is how it works in the place I live in. I have been dealt with such a card and all I can do is do my best to make that card work.

There is something that i want to make myself clear and maybe to others as well, I was offered this job and I took it after much contemplation. I didn't look for it or even wanted it. And since I have accepted this new challenge, I will prove to myself that I was right in choosing it and do a good job while I'm at it. This is just another step of development for me and for my future. I just hope it works.

Watching Mamma Mia with Mama

I’ve just seen the movie “Mamma Mia” with my mother this evening. She didn’t come with my father and me when we watched it in the big screen. Such a wonderful movie, she remembered some of the songs. However, I think I knew more songs from the movie than her. It was a fun viewing and she remembered the lyrics to "Chiquita" and "Dancing Queen". She even cried in one of the scenes. We both enjoy watching musicals especially the ones we know the lyrics to the songs so we can sing while the movie is playing. I know I’m not a good singer, not even a fair singer. I’m at singing but I love to sing, mostly with friends who understand and put up with my less delightful voice.

The Return of the Comeback

I'm back where I began. Next week, I will be starting my new job. It will be going back to something I have don before. But I hope there are changes to it. The previous job was quite boring and predictable. Sometimes when we do something repetitive, we tend not to pay too much attention to it because we were used to it. It makes us complacent, unenergized and less motivated to do our job.

I will return to work on something that I presume I was good at because I was offered to return after almost three years. The work was challenging but the outputs are less to be desired. It is not in my nature to compromise on what the best course of action would be, but in this case I have to because I think that some of the individuals involved are not keen on the results but what can they get out of it. Sometimes, some individuals would just present to you something they have seen somewhere and immediately want it implemented without knowing if it is applicable or not.

I hope i will develop humility and increase my patience and also learn more from this new endeavor that I will be undertaking. I have pointed out the negative I've previously experienced but I hope that I will find positive change to something I have left long time ago.