Saturday, August 8, 2009

To Dance With Someone

"Oh man, that hurts. But you know, why would you want to dance with someone who doesn't want to dance with you?" Adam Sandler (The Wedding Singer)

This a question that has been bugging some of us at some point in our life. Simple put, it's wanting someone/something we can't have. It's been bothering me for quite a long time now and I still can't find an answer on why I do it. We could ask psychiatrists are they could provide us with an answer that will be taken from the ideas of how we live our lives or describe human nature. But will I be satisfied with the answer, probably not. Because part of me will reject the answer or disregard it without first contemplating if it's true or not.

I have asked a couple of them to dance with but they rejected my offer. Rejections came bluntly, full of excuses or just disregarded. It hurts to be rejected no matter how nice or how cruel it came about. The bottom line for me was I wasn't good enough for them. Others might have tried immediately the other options available in the dance floor just to have that dance but I didn't. I waited to find someone I want to dance with. A selection not made by preset standards or appearance but by just following what the heart dictates. I often went home not experiencing that dance.

Then again you go to another dance and still again most of the participants were there during the first dance. Once again, you try again to woo the one's who rejected you before. I'm still drawn to them by some force that I can yet explain, Maybe it's just plain desire or lust or ego or just trying to prove myself to them or clinging to the hope of a change of mind. As with the same result as before, I went home alone.

Oh, I will ask advices from people I trust. They will give their piece and l listen to them but not necessarily implement what they think is right. I ask advice not to be told what to do but to be given an option. It is up to me to weigh my options without losing my sense of self. I wouldn't pretend to be something I'm not just to get someone to dance with me.

I will put my best foot forward and hope that my moves will be accepted.

1 Comment:

ENS said...

like my recent motto says...
it's gonna be ok da doo doo - just dance...


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