Sunday, December 14, 2008

Doubting Dylan

In the past week, I began to doubt some of the things that people say around me. Being in the middle of things, i get to hear both sides and they all have a different side to the story. Some try to promote themselves as competent individuals, others spread rumors of others inadequacy while some position themselves as the victims. I don't have monopoly of the truth of all of these matters so I often have the difficulty of determining the truth from the lies.

It has been my recent experience that people praise me for something I am not. They conjure up things that makes me appear somewhat better than everyone else. I am not comfortable with it because it creates a huge room for disappointment and failure. When people put you in a pedestal, you are treated differently because they want to be on your good side. However, being on top, you are expected to be great at what you do and every little mistake you made on top will appear bigger to everyone below.

I have also been a subject of gossips before but now it will be different because because every move I make will be scrutinized and judged differently. Now, every comment or actions I make must be thought out thoroughly or else it might be construed differently from what I meant to say. It is difficult to be critical at others at this point. The hard I have to bear, I can't be the opposition... for now.



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