Postponed yet again

We were supposed to go to a campsite in another and enjoy their facilities such as rappelling and zip-lines, however, it was indefinitely postponed due to the heavy rains and strong winds that our town is experiencing in the past three days. The weather is erratic. It would rain heavily for a couple of hours in the morning and after that a very humid weather.

I was kinda looking for that trip because it's that time again that I crave for some sort of adventure. Many people think that I am such a boring person because I live a quiet life but they don't realize that I am up for some adventure. I jump from high places to a pool or directly into the sea even if I'm afraid of heights or jump in the middle of the ocean and try to swim even if I'm not an adept swimmer. I like to try out adrenalin-pumping activities. I just hate the drinking of alcohol part that they do after or before that.

I don't need some chemical to motivate me to do something or to enjoy my life. I like a good conversation and a good meal, not some sort or filthy conversations that people do to make themselves noticed by their companions or mock other people. I do critique others, sometimes, even on a personal level but I don't exaggerate things just to malign them. I base my opinions on facts and experiences.

Well, I just hope that it goes through next month or made my friends and I can plan for some sort of vacation this summer.

Winning is as Hard to Deal With as Losing

Sometimes winning is as hard to deal with as losing. It's easy to moon over a lost love - to fantasize over what might have been, secure in the knowledge that it'll never happen - it makes a great excuse for not facing the risks and demands of reality.

Wolverine (Uncanny X-Men No. 183)

Lady Luck Wasn't On My Side

I was so excited and nervous before my recent trip. Anticipating what might happen, what would I say and what would I do. Rehearsing over and over in my mind the things I have to do to tell someone that I like them. But, alas, she couldn't meet with me because of some prior arrangement. Those were valid arrangements because she had planned it out beforehand and I was just trying to, maybe, insert myself in to her schedule. All that trip for nothing. I stayed in there with nothing to do. No plan B. That was it, it was my only goal.

I tried to do it outside my hometown because I don't know if such actions would be done discreetly. Tried to follow her on her vacation. Silly me. But things didn't turn out as planned, as it always is with my affairs of the heart.

God-willing, I hope that one of these days she'll meet with me. Just couldn't picture out her reaction if I asked her for a date. There's still time for me to prepare my nerves if that time comes. Talked to her before but not like this one that I'm about to do. Telling a friend that you liked them and want to be more than friends with her. I've done this before and it always end with disappointment.

Can't worry about what might happen, I just have to tell her what I fell. It's up to her to react and for me to wait for her reaction. Just thinking about it makes me my hands tremble and my heart beating faster.

Gotta keep calm.

But I don't know if can be calm about it.

My Cynicism Gets Ahead of Me

I'm a pessimist. I value loyalty and decency. There is no denying that I am critical of some people. Not because I want to destroy them but I know what they are because of the facts I have known. Oftentimes, the cynic in me just blurts out some that are hurtful even though they are try. I'm becoming too judgmental on the actions of others. Maybe, its the enviornment I am in now because before I was not too critical on others. I just hate it when evil is done in plain sight and no one says anything about it. It is not a farfetched idea to say that they are tolerated because I have already witnessed how they do actions with permission and order people to make their actions look legal.

I don't like being like this but I have to say something. I admire someone of their goodness and despise them of their faults. Not common faults but deliberate actions that affects the common good of people. Such actions make the people distrust their leaders but still end up sticking with them because manipulation.

I would have admired them for their ability and plans but I can't because their actions are just a facade of what they can gain from those plans. In the very end, they only do what can benefit them. And it is difficult to take that they are persecuting the good and rewarding their stooges.

I just hope I won't become to judgmental on these people that I will devoid them of goodness because if that happens I will no longer recognize you as an individual who deserves even a tiny respect.

Burdening You, As Always

I was assigned to help complete a much delayed project and I found out how difficult it is to gather the necessary data due various reasons like unavailability, refusal to give or they just cannot deliver the correct data even if we beg them. Some of them are just to lazy to locate the data so they just say, "none available". Its seems odd to me because most of these data are collected every year and some are required submissions by individuals applying for permits and licenses. In my opinion, these data doesn't need some complicated programs with a database. Given the number of people who apply yearly, it could have been done through Excel format. Time and time again, these problems of data gathering is experienced but no method was introduced to solve this simple problem. Right now, the word to describe the government is "procrastination". They make simple things complicated. Other institutions make studies on how to do things properly and simply but that is not the style of the government. They make you wait and wait until you lose interest in asking them. As the with the GSIS, the common reply is "We Are Updating Our System" and mind you, this is their reply every year to hide their faults. Blaming the computer for the errors of individuals who doesn't care about the common employee. (Sigh) So many worthless systems that are still implemented.

Maybe some of these agencies should have these slogans:

"Burdening You, As Always"

or

"Making Your Life Harder
than It Should Be"

I Can't Help But Criticize

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

I've noticed myself criticizing the failure of others to do their job or the way management treat the good and bad people. I really help it because wrongdoings are done everyday without fail and it is being tolerated by people in power. Some low ranking employees seem to be more powerful than some regular employees because of their "backers". They act as if they own the place. I'm not criticizing because I am the one being trampled upon because I can always fight them and I'm not afraid to defend myself when I'm being wrongly attacked. I criticize because evil is tolerated and they deal with the good critically. You don't have to be a rocket scientist or a PHd in any field to notice that there is something wrong with this system. I'm not passing myself as a righteous person because I am not but I don't steal or let others commit illegal acts for my sake.

It is common to hear about projects not granted or and deliberately withheld because the people in power lost in that particular place or that they could not gain anything or value from that area. People sometimes request that proper procedures not be followed because even meager amounts are being interested by many unscrupulous individuals resulting in poor quality projects. This is not some sort of cloak and dagger deal that is only known to a few people but it is common knowledge and you can't do anything about it even if you try because these unscrupulous individuals are well-protected. They go by the codes: "What are We in Power for?" and "I Scratch Your Back, You Scratch Mine".

Isn't it stupid for someone to by furniture from a store that doesn't sell furniture? That's the reality in here. You buy purchase something from a store that doesn't have inventory and wait until they deliver. It's not as if they were just out of stock. No, they don't have that stock. It is as if you were paying someone to buy you something when you can buy it yourself. I've been purchasing products similar to what they are ordering and the mark-up when purchased from their supposed "dealer" is oftentimes more than 50% of the product cost.

Come on, are they that rich to waste a lot of the people's money or is their some hidden deals behind the purchaser and retailer? They always emphasized or austerity measures and energy saving techniques to cope with the the rising costs but will it be realized if they are stealing money in the guise of projects. When will we ever learn not to tolerate these acts.

"The most important of all revolutions... a revolution in sentiments, manners and moral opinions."

I bought the wrong RAM

Last Thursday, I bought a new RAM for my computer to increase its current capacity because my current 1GB memory cannot handle some of my photo editing I'm doing since I photograph using the large format. With all the editing I'm doing, the computer is starting to "hang" already. However, when I tried to install what I bought, it won't fit the socket of a DDR2 RAM because apparently I bought a DDR800 RAM without checking if its was the correct one for my computer. I was so disappointed because it was such a waste of money. Maybe, I can sell it to someone because it's still brand new. I hope my friend can help me with this dilemma. Next time,.I'll try to checke and verify my purchases. (sigh)

My HD Enclosure was a Disappointment

I was enthusiastic today when I received the Hard Disk Enclosure that I ordered from a friend. Already thinking of transferring some data from my computer because it's already loaded with my video collection and my brother's music collection. but when I reached home and plugged it in, the computer won't detect it as a storage device. It only detects that there is some new device inserted in the computer. I have to contact my friend again to see what wrong and to have it fixed immediately. I hope it will be done by tomorrow.